Jun 10, 2016
WE ARE GOING ON VACATION!!!
Not much has been happening on the Smiddy front.
Jason is now only taking Erbitux for his treatment. This is a once a week treatment. This was actually the first study drug he took in Chicago. He and Dr Chua decided that his body and mind needed a break. The trifecta of chemotherapy he was on was really hard on him. He had no energy and it was causing him to lose function in his arms. The scan he just got showed that the tumor in his neck has not grown...but it also has not shrank. We are hoping that the Erbitux itself can help maintain the tumor. We would have loved for it to shrink...but the fact that it has not grown is just as much a victory.
We are getting ready to go on a family vacation next week!! My mom came home from RI a week ago and is going to stay with the animals. We are going to Cocoa Beach with Faith's friend and her family. Jason is really looking forward to the break from work and the "normal" life. I think this will be a great time for our family to regroup again. As the kids get older I feel like everyone is going in different directions. Noah is going into his senior year in HS and is planning on joining the Marines after graduation. Faith is going to be a Sophomore and Austin a Freshman!! We have 3 high school students! I'm not sure how that happened! It feels like it was just yesterday that I had them in diapers!
I want to thank everyone who has been there for my family through our fight with cancer. This has been a LONG and bumpy road. We have seen many people come into our lives and go just as quick....but through all of this......we got to see who really cares about us. THANK YOU!
Mar 8, 2016
Reading
Last night I was at the YMCA walking my butt off on the treadmill. I decided it was as good a time as ever to start reading a book I recently downloaded on my Kindle app. "My Spouse Has Cancer, Now What?"
Let me start out by saying...my first impression.....OH MY GOSH THIS LADY IS IN MY HEAD! There were so many feelings and thoughts that she hit so close to mine! Maybe we (spouses of those with cancer) all feel pretty much the same! You have these feelings, things you never want to say out loud. Feelings that you can't help but feel and know they would look horrible or selfish if you said them.
I had to stop reading it while at the gym because it was hitting me so hard that I started to cry. I don't want people thinking the treadmill made me cry! ;)
It's hard to voice my thoughts, ones I don't feel like I should be having. Some that scare the crap out of me. I love Jason with all my heart and I will do anything I can for him.....but sometimes it's just too much! Sometimes I want to crawl into a little hole and pretend that my life is not like this. My husband is not sick and sleeping in a recliner in the living room every night. He's not losing function of his arm, he's not hurting so much that I cant really hug him. I'm a touchy feely person. I hug! It's horrible to not be able to hug my husband. To not get to lay on the bed with him and have my head on his chest. All the little things that we used to take for granted....we can no longer do.
Jason has beat cancer before....many times! Fingers crossed and many prayers he can beat it this time too. But every time he beats it....it takes a part of him with it. A part that I will never get back.
Take time and hug your spouse...hold their hand....lay with them....don't take a minute for granted! You are not guaranteed tomorrow and you are not guaranteed that it will be like yesterday!
Let me start out by saying...my first impression.....OH MY GOSH THIS LADY IS IN MY HEAD! There were so many feelings and thoughts that she hit so close to mine! Maybe we (spouses of those with cancer) all feel pretty much the same! You have these feelings, things you never want to say out loud. Feelings that you can't help but feel and know they would look horrible or selfish if you said them.
I had to stop reading it while at the gym because it was hitting me so hard that I started to cry. I don't want people thinking the treadmill made me cry! ;)
It's hard to voice my thoughts, ones I don't feel like I should be having. Some that scare the crap out of me. I love Jason with all my heart and I will do anything I can for him.....but sometimes it's just too much! Sometimes I want to crawl into a little hole and pretend that my life is not like this. My husband is not sick and sleeping in a recliner in the living room every night. He's not losing function of his arm, he's not hurting so much that I cant really hug him. I'm a touchy feely person. I hug! It's horrible to not be able to hug my husband. To not get to lay on the bed with him and have my head on his chest. All the little things that we used to take for granted....we can no longer do.
Jason has beat cancer before....many times! Fingers crossed and many prayers he can beat it this time too. But every time he beats it....it takes a part of him with it. A part that I will never get back.
Take time and hug your spouse...hold their hand....lay with them....don't take a minute for granted! You are not guaranteed tomorrow and you are not guaranteed that it will be like yesterday!
Mar 2, 2016
People can be mean...
Last night Jason made his regular trip to UDF for his milkshake. While there he said there was a teenage boy and his girlfriend also getting ice cream. The boy kept looking back at Jason and then whispering to his girl. Then he turns and says out loud......"Look at this guy here! He's weird looking! Just look at him! Weird!" One of the workers who knows Jason well turned and went off on the boy. Saying he has no idea what Jason is going through, that he is fighting stage 4 cancer and he needs to learn respect. He did apologise to Jason, but the hurt already happened. I felt so sorry for him. How could anyone be that rude to say that???
Today was a treatment day. Jason seems to be in pretty good spirits. He came home to rest and just left to go into work for a little bit.
I have such a strong and amazing man! He goes through hell and back and still keeps moving!
Today was a treatment day. Jason seems to be in pretty good spirits. He came home to rest and just left to go into work for a little bit.
I have such a strong and amazing man! He goes through hell and back and still keeps moving!
Mar 1, 2016
Where are we now?
I have been horrible at keeping this blog going!! I will try to do better!
Jason went back to Chicago for treatment on the tumor in his neck. After several treatments it was not working so we went back to Dr Chua for some more options.
The treatment Dr Chua came up with is a big one! Her words...."I'm throwing the kitchen sink at you!"
Every week Jason will be receiving Erbitux, and every 3rd week she will add Taxol and Carboplatin to the Erbitux. That is 3 cancer treatments in one!
Several weeks into treatment.....IT'S WORKING! The tumor is shrinking! Now for the other stuff. His hair is almost all gone...no biggie. The Erbitux has caused him to break out really bad. His poor head is the worst! Scabs all over and they hurt. The Taxol is killing the nerves and in turn causing Jason to lose function of his left arm. (He's left handed) All minor when in exchange for his life...but it has really been weighing hard on him. He struggles every day and I see it breaking his mental well being.
The kids are hanging in there. Obviously the news of the tumor shrinking helped with that. Faith has made a team for their schools relay for life event. It's nice to see all the kids that are around us as our "family" sign up to walk. It's going to be a great event! Just working on getting all the kids $100 in donations. Faith has already raised $140!!
Walking Warriors Relay for Life team page
You can also purchase a Lumineria with your loved ones name printed on it!
Treatment tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Jason went back to Chicago for treatment on the tumor in his neck. After several treatments it was not working so we went back to Dr Chua for some more options.
The treatment Dr Chua came up with is a big one! Her words...."I'm throwing the kitchen sink at you!"
Every week Jason will be receiving Erbitux, and every 3rd week she will add Taxol and Carboplatin to the Erbitux. That is 3 cancer treatments in one!
Several weeks into treatment.....IT'S WORKING! The tumor is shrinking! Now for the other stuff. His hair is almost all gone...no biggie. The Erbitux has caused him to break out really bad. His poor head is the worst! Scabs all over and they hurt. The Taxol is killing the nerves and in turn causing Jason to lose function of his left arm. (He's left handed) All minor when in exchange for his life...but it has really been weighing hard on him. He struggles every day and I see it breaking his mental well being.
The kids are hanging in there. Obviously the news of the tumor shrinking helped with that. Faith has made a team for their schools relay for life event. It's nice to see all the kids that are around us as our "family" sign up to walk. It's going to be a great event! Just working on getting all the kids $100 in donations. Faith has already raised $140!!
Walking Warriors Relay for Life team page
You can also purchase a Lumineria with your loved ones name printed on it!
Treatment tomorrow.
Have a great day!
May 8, 2015
Hi there! It's been awhile.......
Today seems like a good day to write!
A lot has gone on in our lives during my break from blogging. Let me see if I can catch you up.
Dec 6, 2011
My first blog post. My husband Jason was diagnosed with oral cancer! It was on the side of his tongue.....started out as a small bump. He went through very aggressive chemotherapy and radiation. He had a feeding tube that I fought with him all the time about! He lost so much weight! He was weak enough that I had to stand with him in the shower, he sat down at the sink to shave and brush the very few teeth he had left. Because of the position of the tumor they had to remove most of his teeth for the radiation.
April 12, 2012
We got the ALL CLEAR! His oral cancer was GONE!
July 15, 2012
The cancer is back! This time in his lung!
This cancer was very hard to get rid of...in the process of treating it......it moved to his bones! He was now also receiving radiation to his left femur at the ball joint in his hip.
Radiation did kill that cancer, leaving bilateral fractures in his femur. (Ugh)
With the lung cancer not responding...Jason asked the Dr...how long with out working treatment. She said maybe Christmas. This was in September.
We were not ready to give up! Our doctors found a study in Chicago that they got us into! Now we were traveling to Chicago every other week for treatment. We also left our house and moved in with my mom to afford the trips, and for help with the kids.
March 17, 2014
Routine scans come in....not good. Yes, the lung cancer is shrinking but now there is a new tumor in his neck. Because of the new cancer we have been removed from the study. Back to our local oncologist.
March 26, 2014
New scans at our local doctor come in. The lung cancer is GONE! Now to crush this tumor in his neck! Chemo and radiation to come!
July 2, 2014
My hero kicked cancers butt again!!!! Clean scan baby!!! Now Jason goes in to be fitted for dentures so he can eat again! (lack of teeth)
September 25, 2014
((Scans)) STILL CANCER FREE
January 20, 2015
((Scans)) STILL CANCER FREE
March 17, 2015
((Scans)) New tumor in his neck. No radiation can be done since he has already had so much to that area! Chemo will have to do!
Current day....May 8, 2015
Jason has requested that new scans be done. The pain in his neck has been getting worse. He does not think the treatment is working. From here wit will be a new chemo and another call to Chicago to see what they have for studies.
I'm so ready for this roller coaster ride to be over! I want off! I want my husband healthy! I want my family happy! I want my life back! Jason and I are both in our later 30's, when do we get to sit back and enjoy our life? Don't get me wrong.....we look at every day as a blessing! We thank God for every breath we breathe! But with cancer always hanging over our heads.....it dulls the moments! We are subconsciously waiting for the other shoe to fall!
Hug and kiss your loved ones! Even if you normally don't....DO IT! It could be the last time you have that chance! Take that break t go out to coffee with a friend, a date with your s/o. You never know when those blissfully happy times could be ripped away from you!
I'm going to work on keeping this up to date again. Please follow me!
Thanks,
Jaime
A lot has gone on in our lives during my break from blogging. Let me see if I can catch you up.
Dec 6, 2011
My first blog post. My husband Jason was diagnosed with oral cancer! It was on the side of his tongue.....started out as a small bump. He went through very aggressive chemotherapy and radiation. He had a feeding tube that I fought with him all the time about! He lost so much weight! He was weak enough that I had to stand with him in the shower, he sat down at the sink to shave and brush the very few teeth he had left. Because of the position of the tumor they had to remove most of his teeth for the radiation.
April 12, 2012
We got the ALL CLEAR! His oral cancer was GONE!
July 15, 2012
The cancer is back! This time in his lung!
This cancer was very hard to get rid of...in the process of treating it......it moved to his bones! He was now also receiving radiation to his left femur at the ball joint in his hip.
Radiation did kill that cancer, leaving bilateral fractures in his femur. (Ugh)
With the lung cancer not responding...Jason asked the Dr...how long with out working treatment. She said maybe Christmas. This was in September.
We were not ready to give up! Our doctors found a study in Chicago that they got us into! Now we were traveling to Chicago every other week for treatment. We also left our house and moved in with my mom to afford the trips, and for help with the kids.
March 17, 2014
Routine scans come in....not good. Yes, the lung cancer is shrinking but now there is a new tumor in his neck. Because of the new cancer we have been removed from the study. Back to our local oncologist.
March 26, 2014
New scans at our local doctor come in. The lung cancer is GONE! Now to crush this tumor in his neck! Chemo and radiation to come!
July 2, 2014
My hero kicked cancers butt again!!!! Clean scan baby!!! Now Jason goes in to be fitted for dentures so he can eat again! (lack of teeth)
September 25, 2014
((Scans)) STILL CANCER FREE
January 20, 2015
((Scans)) STILL CANCER FREE
March 17, 2015
((Scans)) New tumor in his neck. No radiation can be done since he has already had so much to that area! Chemo will have to do!
Current day....May 8, 2015
Jason has requested that new scans be done. The pain in his neck has been getting worse. He does not think the treatment is working. From here wit will be a new chemo and another call to Chicago to see what they have for studies.
I'm so ready for this roller coaster ride to be over! I want off! I want my husband healthy! I want my family happy! I want my life back! Jason and I are both in our later 30's, when do we get to sit back and enjoy our life? Don't get me wrong.....we look at every day as a blessing! We thank God for every breath we breathe! But with cancer always hanging over our heads.....it dulls the moments! We are subconsciously waiting for the other shoe to fall!
Hug and kiss your loved ones! Even if you normally don't....DO IT! It could be the last time you have that chance! Take that break t go out to coffee with a friend, a date with your s/o. You never know when those blissfully happy times could be ripped away from you!
I'm going to work on keeping this up to date again. Please follow me!
Thanks,
Jaime
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