ENT Appointment

Yesterday was our appointment with the ear, nose and throat doctor. I think it's funny that just before Christmas I told my sister that I don't "do" the Kenwood area and this week alone I was there twice!  The PET scan was at Jewish hospital and the ENT doctor was across the street from Jewish. First thought walking onto the office....WOW the waiting room is small!  There were a ton of chairs in not a lot of space...yet those chairs were very squishy! We got called back to the room and about 30 minutes later the Dr came in. I had expected him to be older, but he seemed close to us in age.  Dr. Manders looked at the scans we brought and looked in Jason's mouth before sitting back to talk with us.

Dr. Manders idea of treatment would be surgery first then radiation and chemo. The surgery he speaks of is a MAJOR surgery.  He would remove 2/3 of Jason's tongue and take a piece from his arm to build a "flap" to replace the large removed piece. This flap would have no muscle so it is more cosmetic than anything.  Talking and eating will be very difficult!  At first they would trake him because his tongue would be too swollen to breath and he would also have the feeding tube.  He would eventually be able to talk but it would be with a very heavy lisp. As scary as this surgery seems....Dr Manders says he can remove the entire cancer infested area then the radiation and chemo is a precaution to be sure all cancer is gone.  Jason will also need to have lymph nodes removed from his neck since one has a small amount of cancer in it.

Now, we are a bit at a loss.  This was a shock to hear and we have to decide which way we want to go.  We can do surgery first or wait and do it last with the possibility that radiation and chemo will eliminate the cancer.  I'm not a doctor so I don't know the ins and outs of all this....but if there is a chance to eliminate 1 step from above why wouldn't we want to take that route? I worry that the ENT guy just wants to cut! With that being said we are going to get back in with our radiologist and oncologist as soon as we can to discuss this with them. This is a HUGE decision and I'm freaking about it!  How do we know what is best? How do we know we are making the right choice?

Yesterday I had my melt down...first BIG one so far.  Jason came up and cried with me....I love him so much!  I woke up this morning and said to myself before I got out of bed, "Today will be better!  No pity parties only steps forward!"  Then I logged on to Facebook and saw a post that broke my heart!  A good friend of mine from my High School days is dealing with cancer also.  His daughter Annabel who is just 8 months old is in the hospital. They were running tests to find out the cause of her discoloration around her eyes.  Upon doing the MRI they found out that she has cancer!  Here is a bit from his post "Anabel was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma cancer.  There is a large mass in her abdomen and it has spread to her liver, bone marrow, and her skull, which is what is causing the bruising/discoloration of her eyelids.  She was admitted to the Seattle Children's Cancer Care Center today (Friday) and will begin treatment shortly. At this point we don't know much more than what I've already told you. Anabel is scheduled for her biopsy tomorrow where they will remove part of the mass from her abdomen for genetic profiling and further testing to determine how advanced the cancer is.  We're trying to stay positive but the oncologist that was working with us today says that it's likely that the cancer is advanced, which makes treatment much harder."

Please keep sweet Annabel in your thoughts also!  Cancer is such an ugly disease and I hope they find a cure soon!  Thanks for all your support and prayers, we have our lows....but we are ready to evict cancer FOR GOOD!  

A little venting....

I'm not sure how to start this blog, but I know the idea that I want to express. I want to touch on the emotional side of being diagnosed with cancer. The pain I feel everyday while watching Jason try to deal and make things "normal".  It's so hard to sit and watch someone you love with all your heart be in pain.  It's even harder when you know there is nothing you can do to help.  Jason has constant ear pain, this goes along with oral cancer and this is his  #1 most complained about pain.  The spot on his tongue has gotten a little larger and is much more sensitive!! This makes eating very difficult!  He is embarrassed about the way he eats...even in front of his kids and myself.  I can tell him that it does not bother us, that we don't care how he looks when he eats....but it bothers HIM!  Nothing I say can make that better.  Then comes the "This sucks" phase.  It does suck and you always have the "why did this happen to me" or "I'm so stupid" comments.

When your healthy, cancer is a story you hear about......it's not real.  "That won't happen to me..."  When you have cancer you realize how stupid you sounded before.  Cancer can effect ANY of us at any time!  Even if you lead a healthy life, nonsmoking etc you can still get cancer.....so why add to your chances by smoking, drinking and chewing? If you had a way to protect yourself from ever getting cancer you would do it right?  Well, by not smoking etc you raise your chances of being cancer free by  A LOT!

My message to those of you who are current tobacco users - It can happen to you! Chances are at some point in your life...IT WILL!  When it does happen, it sucks!  It hurts, it stresses you out, it drains your money, and it drains your family....I could go on and on.  Stop being selfish, that's what your being.....you care more about your instant gratification than the rest of your life!  Your family and friends love you and I can tell you it will hurt them just as much as it does you!

My message to those who are currently trying to quit tobacco use - Congratulations on the start of your new life!  It will be hard, it will suck....but always think of this.....it could be a lot worse!  You could be in constant pain, you could have trouble eating because of your pain and you could be fighting for your life!  Is that tobacco really worth your life?  Think of it this way....YOUR the boss!  Tell tobacco YOU call the shots, and your saying enough is enough!  Make it a game, if you have a set back your back 2 spaces....but don't quit!  Celebrate every accomplishment! 1 day, 1 week,  2 weeks, 1 month, etc!  Celebrate by doing something special....something you normally would not do.  Keep on going.....you CAN do it!

Next blog should be soon, we go to the ENT doctor today.  Hopefully we will have more information and begin the ass kicking!  Thanks for all your support!

CT & MRI

Just a quick note about our day yesterday.  Jason had his CT scan and his MRI yesterday. We were to be there by 1:15 and testing would start at 1:30.  First issue....the girl who helped with our preregistration  told us the wrong place!  We went to the main Bethesda North building when we needed to go one of the outer buildings.  Not a big deal but after running from the parking lot to the building in the pouring rain then having to run back, put me in an off mood!

We got to the correct building and they took him back fairly quick, I guess because we got there JUST in time!  I had no clue that the tests would take THAT long!  I sat in the waiting room listening to people complain about so much!  One lady was there for a 5 minute test and they were running an hour behind because 1 of the machines broke down and they had to fix it. She complained NONSTOP! She complained about her wait, that HER test only takes 5 minutes and that they were taking other people back before her.  That was when the receptionist told her not everyone is having the same tests with the same machines.  Listening to her made the time drag on and on!  Then to top it off around 3:00 Faith calls me crying because the boys were being mean to her!  This is exactly what I wanted to deal with while sitting with a massive headache!  I talked to Noah and smoothed it all out.  It was about 3:30 when Jason came out and then we waited for another 15 minutes for the disk.  We have to take that to the PET scan on Tuesday.

Now through out the night and this morning I got more and more details from Jason about his scans.  The CT scan was only like 15 minutes, the MRI was an hour long!  They loaded him full of dye and something else that the nurse told him he will feel like he peed himself.  He said it did feel that way and he had to double check when he got up that he did not!  Ha Ha   The MRI was hard for him because you can't move....as soon as someone tells you  not to move you get that horrible itch on your nose....He got that itch but had to leave it be FOR AN HOUR!  They let him listen to music of his choice to he chose ESPN talk radio. (snooze)  Now, this morning while we lay in bed with Radar he told me another story.  When entering the MRI room he said he got a little freaked out...the door was vacuum sealed like a walk in freezer and he said he immediately felt like he was in the movie "The Fly".  I don't remember enough of that movie to picture the scene he is talking about, but it was funny that he could pick a movie out to describe his experience!

Now we have 4 days off of cancer related crap.  Today he went in to work to check on some workers, tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we will go to my moms and then Sunday is Christmas Day!  Tuesday will be a great day for Jason because his brother Mike and his wife Juli will be coming in town from Texas.  We only get to see them about once a year and it never feels like it's a long enough visit!  Next week is packed with visits, but it will be nice to have a distraction when we get home.  Next weeks schedule is like so....Tuesday is the PET scan, Wednesday we go back to the radiologist and have his mask and mouth piece built, Thursday is a day off and then Friday we meet yet another doctor, the ENT.

Jason is so ready to get started!  He is very happy that he knows this is a curable cancer and that he will be fine, but he is worrying about the treatment and how he will feel.  He is also concerned with the family issues of it, how the kids will react, working etc.  I have told him once and I will tell him over and over again, I will love him no matter what and we will pull through this!  If they have to do surgery and he looses part or most of his tongue...I will love him just the same!  I can't wait to get treatment over with and see my husbands smile again...a genuine smile, not one he puts on to make everyone else feel better!

A few years ago I heard a mother on the John Edward show say the following phrase "Always Blessing, Never Losses".  She lost her 4 year old son to terminal illness and she would use that phrase to help her get through her day.  To this day I think of it often and try to find the positive in everything.  Yes it SUCKS that my husband has cancer, there are many things we can dwell on that are negative....but there are so many positive thing too - he stopped smoking, he realizes he has to take his health much more serious, he looks at his life differently and there are so many more positives to come.  He is ready to "Kick cancers Ass" and so am I!  As horrible as this is, it will make us stronger!  It will build us as individuals and as a couple and family.  Once we conquer this hurdle NOTHING can stand in our way!  I could sit home and cry all day and night and have a poor Jaime party.....but what will that accomplish other than bloodshot eyes and a massive headache?  NOTHING!  So I put my big girl panties on, I become the rock that my husband needs, I make him laugh when he is crying and I hold him when he needs comfort!  Many have asked if I broke down yet...the answer is no.  I don't have time to break down, nor do I want to!  I want to keep busy, maintain as much normalcy to my families life as I can and move forward!  I'm thankful that my husband is a strong amazing man who will come out on top of this!  I'm thankful for all the amazing family, friends and doctors we have in our lives!  And I am thankful for the mother of that young boy who gave me 4 words to live my life by!

ALWAYS BLESSINGS, NEVER LOSSES!

I'm going to try to embed a link to a song about this amazing woman and her 4 words.  The mother was on the John Edward show and he asked a friend who is a singer to make a song about it.  It's very beautiful, I hope you enjoy it!

INFORMATION OVERLOAD!

Overload for sure!  Yesterday Jason has his first appointment at the oncologist.  They wanted us there at 11:30 to fill out paper work and our appointment was at 12:00.  We were there until 3:00!

Once we got there, Jason filled out some more papers and then we waited!  They took him back first to do his vitals and then they came back for us.  The room we got to sit in was all of 6'x6'.  It was so small, no windows and with Jason's mom also there.....PACKED!  Our first sight of Dr. Chua was when she came breezing into the room to tell Jason she has to get her team busy on making appointments for him.  A small oriental woman, but so much power came from her!  She walked over shook hands with us then said, I will be back!  Ha Ha Ha "Nice to meet you....bye bye!"  When Dr. Chua came back she was still a bit of a busy body, but she handled business.  She told us that She wants him to have several scans, CAT, PET, and an MRI.  She also wants us to see the ENT. (Ear Nose and Throat Dr)   She gave Jason a once over and then told him what we most likely had in store for us.  This was her educated guess, until the scans come back we will not know for sure!

Dr. Chua said he will need a 3 course treatment, this includes chemo, radiation, and surgery.  If the cancer has indeed spread to his lymph node as they think it may have he will have to have that node removed.  He has a small knot there, could be cancer or since it is the node that gets all the drainage it could be inflamed.   Chemo will be the worst chemo treatment they have, 3 treatments 3 weeks apart.  Radiation will be 5 days a week for 6 weeks.  She also said that due to where his radiation is (in his mouth) it will cause problems with eating while he is in treatment.  The radiation will cause a burn on the skin that looks like a sunburn and will cause serious irritation inside his mouth and throat.  The way they treat this is they will insert a "G' tube.  This is a gravity feeding tube through is stomach to be sure he gets the nutrition he needs.  Her suggestion was 7-8 Ensures a day during treatment.  He must keep things in his stomach to flush the Chemo from his body or it will attack other organs in his body.  Dr. Chua has a way of putting things, as this freaked Jason out a bit she replies....."You can choose not to and I will end up having you admitted to the hospital and we will do it anyway after your malnourished" At this point reality set in with Jason.  Dr. Chua said she has her staff working on setting up his scans and an appointment with the ENT, that makes it much easier for us!!  

Dr. Chua then walked us across the hall to the radiologist. Jason and I headed back to once again another tinny room but this time it had a creepy chair as Jason says.  Our first visit here was the nurse practitioner, I'm sorry I can not remember her name...so many names were thrown at us!  She did a recap of how Jason found the cancer, congratulated him on day 12 of not smoking and talked to us more about radiation.  Same info just more detail.  Weeks 1-2 he will feel fine, no change.  Week 3 he will notice a change and by week 5 and 6 he will hate them!  Radiation treatments will probably be only 20 minutes long. (Another guess until we get the scans)  The will create 2 things for Jason, a mouth piece that will protect the roof of his mouth from the radiation.  And a mask that will go around his face that will mark where they need to place it. Once treatment is over we get to keep the mask...some destroy them others paint and place it in their house.  Jason wants my sister to paint it so we can keep it!  :)  We talked again about the "G" tube and then she did a look and see check on Jason.  She said the knot in his lymph node was not that big and that made her very happy.  After her look and see she said she was going to talk about us with the Dr.  They were learning very quickly that we have a sense of humor and they LOVED that and came right back at us!  That makes it so much easier!

Dr Gerson.....like Person but with a G as she said came in shortly after that.  Rinse and repeat what I wrote above....it was the same talk different person!  Both Dr. Gerson and her nurse practitioner were very happy with how much he could move his tongue.  Her comment (now that she new we had humor) was your treatment will last about 20 minutes....unless you make me mad then I will make you stay there longer!  Once we get our scans back we go back to have Jason's accessories made then it will take them a week to get ready for him.  Dr. Gerson, Dr. Chua and the ENT will meet and discuss what they think the best game plan is for Jason.  Then Dr. Gerson will work with her staff to figure out where and how they want to do the radiation, from there her team of physics people will take the CAT scan apart slice by slice to be sure they hit the exact depth of the cancer.  When she felt his tongue she did not think it was very deep, she didn't feel it in the center of his tongue which is GREAT!  

With treatment Jason's immune system will become non-existent, we talked with the kids about hand washing like CRAZY!  In talking about his treatment we brought up that he has a healing dog, Radar.  This got her attention so we explained that he is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi and seems to be able to sense when people hurt or are not well.  He started his "healing" with Jason a few weeks before we found the cancer, and since then he lays across him or cuddles as much as he can!  I explained this and also said I thought he would be a great therapy dog, if I could get him to not jump!  That was when Dr. Gerson said "I give you permission to bring him here!  He can be Jason's therapy dog"  Also she wanted to see him!  Dr. Gerson was a horse girl until she fell off of one and injured her back.  After all this she looks at us and says, "any questions?"  We both laughed and I said maybe once we lay in bed and process the day!  I told Dr. Gerson I understand that this is the hurry up and wait point and she agreed.  She said she understands that we want to just get started and kick cancers ass, but we have to have everything set just right.  We set up our follow up appointment and went back to the oncology side for lab work.  THEN we got to go home, made it just in time to grab Austin off the bus go to Ridge and pick Noah up after his dance and shoot to Freedom to watch Faith's last volleyball game and awards.  

I will be trying to get in with my doctor Alexis today....I have had sinus issues and now a cough with it.  This is not the time for me to get sick!  Jason is in talks with work about the best way to go with FMLA, short term disability etc.  ThreeBond  and the employees have been amazing and so supportive with this!  I also want to tank and ask for extra prayers for one of Jason's employees.  Just before Jason found his cancer he learned that Rachel (works for him) is also battling cancer.  Although she is in her own fight she has been a great support for Jason!  As you keep Jason in your thoughts and prayers please say an extra one for Rachel!  

I'm sure I forgot a lot, but as I said before....information overload!  I have to go through and figure out what days we have what and hopefully Noah can step up and help with watching Faith and Austin since they are on break!  I'm sure he will do great...we all will be because we have amazing support!!!


ADDED INFO (I knew I forgot stuff)  Dr. Gerson said that on a positive note....Jason's cancer is VERY treatable and she can cure him of this!  She said that he has many pluses...he stopped smoking, he is in great health minus the cancer and he is young!  She cures many older people of this who don't quit smoking or drinking etc.  She said that he will be fine!  Sorry, that was a really good chunk of info to forget!  :)

Post op appointment

We went back to the oral surgeon today.  Jason was scared that I would pass out again....to be honest so was I!  As we entered the elevator my stomach was flipping a bit and my eyes were getting weird.  Jason went to the restroom while I stood in the hall trying to calm myself down.  Lots of deep breathing.

Once we got to the office and sat down I felt a little better.  I was texting with my friend Melissa trying to keep my mind on other things.  She was scolded me for always caring for others and not taking care of myself.  We got called back to the room and it felt like we were in a small closet....by the way.....SAME room as before!  I found that looking out the window helped and if it makes any sense at all turning the chair sideways made it better.  That had the windows next to me rather than behind me.  I did not pass out!

Dr. Stastny said Jason's mouth is healing very well!  SCORE!  Love good news and no matter how small the news, if it's good we will celebrate it!  Biopsy results came in and yes it is cancer.  The DIAGNOSIS states : Well-differentiated squamous cell carcinoma.  Forget saying that 3 times fast, I can't say it once SLOW!  Doctor would like to see him back in 2 weeks just to make sure everything healed up correctly.

After our appointment we went downstairs to the oncology center.  We set up our appointment, and will be back Tuesday afternoon.  From what Dr. Stastny says, they will create a mouth piece - I guess for the radiation treatments.  This appointment will hopefully let us know what our game plan is from here.

We are still in high spirits, cancer has it's eviction notice.....it's only a matter of time!  And when we have a clean bill of health you are all invited to a CELEBRATION PARTY!  :)

Before I end this entry I want to Thank a few people.  First and foremost I want to thank our family and friends!  With out you I'm not sure where we would be right now, just knowing you're there helps us get through our day!

I also want to thank all the amazing doctors and nurses we have in our corner!  Our family doctor Alexis Coy and her nurse Kim, they have been a great source of support and positive vibes! If your in need of a new family doctor I highly suggest you go to Beckett Ridge Family Medicine and see Alexis and Kim!  I also want to thank Dr Stastny and his nurse Tonya.  I can't imagine how hard it must be to break news like this to anyone much less a young family!  They were so nice and caring and really were amazing!  They took their time and made us feel like they had no other patients but us!  Plus Tonya kept a CLOSE eye on me to be sure I did not pass out again, which she said she thought I might.  With all these amazing people family, friends, doctors and nurses in our corner we should have this cancer licked in no time!

Night everyone!  Kiss you loved ones and tell them you love them & enjoy every day like it's your last because you never know when something like cancer will jump in and take over!

Soft Food is NOT fun!

Things are going well, Jason is taking it easy and is cutting back on his pain meds.  Mainly he is complaining of being sore rather than in pain.  He is still on a soft food diet so trying to come up with new and tasty things that compare to a cheeseburger can be difficult, but we are pulling through!

After many talks all leaning the same way, I quit my seasonal position at Kohl's.  Having just started the job a few weeks ago my body was screaming at me after every shift.  This leaves me plenty of time to organize the house and try to de-clutter as much as possible, PLUS be there for my family!

Jason will venture back to work tomorrow, I hope his day runs smooth with little discomfort.  I can't help but worry about him!  If he gets quiet for a while I'm asking him if he is okay.....I'm sure this is driving him nuts, but I hate to see him in pain or upset.

I want to thank everyone for the amazing support and well wishes, we greatly appreciate them all!

Biopsy Surgery

I can honestly, without a doubt say that today did not go ANYTHING like I expected.

Waking this morning I got the kids ready for school and sent them on their way. We got a call from the doctor today saying they had a cancellation and we could come in early. So we said yes and planned on being there at 10:30am. We had everything ready and as soon as Jason's brother Andrew arrived we left.

Once we got to the office Jason said he was nervous, but he was ready. They called him back a few minutes later. It was closer to 11:00. While Jason was in surgery I got many phone texts and talked with Andrew. I got word from the receptionist that he was doing great, surgery is over and they were waking him up. Start to finish was about 2hrs.

Here comes the fun part.....

The nurse came out to get us, this was one I had not met yet. I found out later on that she had only been with this Dr for 2 weeks. We went back to the room and the first thing I notice his how swollen his face was. He also looked very high! I sat down in the chair at his feet and the nurse started to go over what was done. He had some stitches, but they would dissolve. As she is talking I started to not feel so well. My stomach was tossing and the room was feeling smaller. She kept talking as I did some deep breathing and tried to relax. I realized something was wrong and asked where the closest bathroom was, last thing I remember the nurse was saying "do you not feel well?" Next thing I know I am on the floor with Andrew holding me up on the right and a nurse on my left. I was not all the way with it yet but realized I was also getting sick! The ringing in my ears as I came to was intense! All this while Jason sat there watching!
They took me to another room and gave me a coke to drink. THANK GOD Andrew was with us to drive home! This was NOT my finest moment! :( No idea why I passed out, maybe just too much info and feeling for Jason.

Jason is doing OK. He has a log sheet of directions we need to follow but I'm trying to get him to sleep it off as much as he can. As I type this at almost 3pm he is still a little out of it. I have to keep repeating things to him and reminding him to do this or not that. Radar has taken up residency on Jason's lap and is working his corgi healing magic.

I want to thank everyone for the amazing words of encouragement and prayers! We are so grateful!

Why we are here....

I never thought that I would be writing a blog like this about my husband, but here I am and we might as well start at the beginning.

Jason noticed a bump on his tongue at the beginning of November 2011. He thought nothing of it, it could be a cold sore. The bump never disappeared and the day after Thanksgiving Nov. 25th he said that it was much larger and sore!

That Saturday the 26th Jason went to a Kroger little clinic to see if it was a cold sore or an ulcer. The nurse practitioner said that it could be an ulcer or oral cancer. (He left the cancer part out when he told me!) She gave him a dose of antibiotic and a liquid called magic mouthwash and told him to get in to see his regular doctor ASAP.

Monday Nov 28th Jason went to our family doctor. Alexis said that she wanted him to try a steroid cream and if it was not better in a few days to get back in to see her right away!

Friday, December 2nd I went to the doctor with Jason. They did a throat culture to test for infection and Alexis said she wants him to have the oral cancer test. We needed to call our dentist to see if he does the test. THIS was when I first heard about there being a chance it could be CANCER.

Our dentist was closed on Friday so we had to wait until Monday to call and ask about the test. Jason and I both had googled oral cancer and were pretty certain it was that. There were a few photos that looked like it was his mouth. Neither of us said anything about our research until after the actual diagnosis.

Monday, December 5th, after the kids got on the bus I called the dentist and asked about the test. Yes they test for oral cancer and they can get him in fairly quick. I called Jason and told him to call to set up an appointment. I had my check up at our family doctor and explained to them that our dentist does the test and I would get back with them later that day with more info. Jason got an appointment with Dr Byerly (Our dentist) at 1:50pm that day. We got there early and they took us early. Dr Byerly took one look and immediately said he wanted us to go to an oral surgeon. He said he can swab it and send it away and in a week they would send back a "yes it looks suspicious" then he would send us to the oral surgeon. But he would rather bypass that and just send us to him now, then he said he would call to see if he could squeeze us in right away. RED FLAG! So we headed to the oral surgeons office. We were in and out of Dr. Byerly's office before our appointment time. We pulled up to the 2 story office building about 2pm and made our way to the oral surgeons office. We sat for a good 40 minutes because the secretary was at lunch and the other girl did not know we needed to fill out paperwork.

When they called us back the room was very bright and very empty. Not a very comfortable room. The nurse/assistant (sorry can't remember her name) came in and filled out a lot of information. Basically all the information I just listed above! The doctor came in and gave Jason's mouth a good look over......sat down and took what seemed like an hour to talk. In reality it was only a minute or two. He was 90% sure it was oral cancer. Well he used a word that I don't think I could repeat with practice, the "medical" name. We now have 2 options......The first option was surgery, hhowever when they remove the tumor they will have to take a larger piece than the tumor is. This means a large piece of his tongue would be removed which can cause problems with speech etc. Option number 2 was a chemo and radiation treatment in hopes that it will eliminate the cancer or at least shrink the tumor enough to do a surgery that will less impact his life/speech.

We got the confirmation that we knew deep down was coming...but it still does not prepare you for that slap in the face - the brick wall you walk head first into! I held back the tears and did my best to stay strong for Jason. I have to be his rock and be positive for him, I can cry later when I am alone!

This coming Friday December 9th (a day after Noah's 13th birthday) Jason will have a procedure done in the oral surgeons office. They will take a biopsy of the tumor and remove several teeth for treatment. The entire procedure will take about an hour and we plan on being there for 2 hours.

Let me take just a moment to let you know how AMAZING this oral surgeon and his assistant are! They were very soothing and did not hesitate to go out of their way to make this easier on us! The doctor wanted to walk us himself to the oncologist downstairs to introduce us, but he was with a patient and we wanted to leave rather than wait for him! (It had been a LONG day) The time was now about 4pm and we had to call my mom to pick Faith up from volleyball. His amazing assistant walked us down to meet them and said if for some reason they are not in our plan get a list and send it to her. They will circle the oncologists that they would recommend!

Now to bring this first blog to a close. We are doing OK. We are in a bit of shock and we go through all the emotions. Neither Jason or I slept much last night and I feel it today. I have mixed feelings about work, many people have their opinions and trust me I hear them all.....but this puts a lot on my plate that I already felt was a bit to full! Yes, I like my job and I know it will be an escape for me.....but I want to make sure I have the energy to do everything!

Last night I told Jason I love him and I will no matter what! I also told him that he will only be surrounded by POSITIVE people, so this is your one and only warning! We will have our pity parties as a family and will cry together, but after the initial shock it's time to be positive! I can not be responsible for my actions when acting out of love for him. He needs the positive thoughts, lots of prayers and happiness. THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING!

Thanks for reading, this will be our main source of updates so we don't have to keep saying the same thing over and over again. Thanks for all your warm thoughts and powerful prayers! We do appreciate every last one of you!